The First Pillar of a Dream Marriage

This is your key to marital fulfillment and success


Abdulwasi’i Ilyas

In a world like ours, where the major concern of every individual is “what is in it for me,” people approach relationships from the angle of what they stand to gain. Consequently, most relationship demise hinges on the initiating partner running out of objects that appeal to their self-interests to latch on.
The formative years of men are laced with dreams and hopes of what to be, have and do. The advance of age brings with it the reality of the earthly sojourn; that the plasticity of the mind to run wild in the ocean of dreams is grotesque and not proportional to what is humanly attainable.
True, there is a sparing one per cent of the population who have been dealt a fair hand in the game of life; the billionaire club. Their fortunes did not come to be through the sheer size and volume of their dreams and hopes nor through mere happenstance.
There are pointers to the effect that these billionaires had habits, traits, and privileges that eluded the rest of the masses. Such traits as the knack for calculated risk-taking, their being entrepreneurial and highly-educated, with a bit of luck set them apart from the crowd.
Your craving to attain lofty heights in something desirable must be backed by planning and persistent effort. Falling short of that paradigm amounts to woolgathering and an over-indulgence in fantasy or should I say ‘phantasmagoria’, if you will indulge me.
CREDIT: Black couple getaways
CREDIT: Black couple getaways
To be self-absorbed and to exclude the needs and desires of the other partner breed the entitlement mindset; acting as if the world or anyone owes you a thing.
To sustain your existence to saner levels, growth is a necessity and you reserve the right to demand same of your partner.
Proponents of the evolutionary theory tell us that in the scheme of things, the stronger species are braced to live and the weaker ones are phased out by the world’s constant needs to reform to suit the ever-evolving demands of the natural order. This apply equally to all spheres of human activity.
Suppress the propensity to rain tirades upon tirades on your partner about their need to grow. Rather than hang around and make unrealistic demands of your partner, the both of you should imbibe the family culture of mutual growth in your chosen careers, faiths, and all other matters of shared interest. This is your key to marital fulfillment and success.
Your criticism of the other person and their need to fix an area of their life you perceive a lack, will serve to aggravate matters further. In the same way and manner you sit around the table to plan your finances (that is if you are not one of those that keep their earnings a secret matter from their spouses), should you plan your careers and future if you envision one together.


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