What Age is Best for Marriage
By Abdulwasi’i Ilyas
In the natural sequence of things, the genitals develop at a rate and pace faster than the maturity of the minds and brains that bear them. That explains the haste to tie the knot exhibited by most people of different backgrounds and religions.
Much as walking down the aisle as a means of sexual gratification is a moral luxury only those closer to the houses of worships can afford.Those who pay lip service to their faiths and moral compasses know and believe that to gratify their lustful predispositions, neither age nor time is worthy of their consideration. They are most unlikely to dispute the arguments proposed in this piece of writing.
It is commendable to profess belief in some ideology or religion. Most people who do so, do so in anticipation and hope that it will leave them better off or happier than without it. The more reason to avert any factor that will tend to truncate the possibility of that objective.
My exposure to religion lies within the ambits of Islam-the faith I profess- and Christianity (where several friends and colleagues of repute pitch their tent). To employ the excuse of religion in treading a path fraught with perils and dangers, in a manner that only exposes the lack of a deep-rooted knowledge of that faith, is to throw caution and reason to the wind and to embark on a self-defeating escapade.
Look my friends, this matter has more far-reaching consequences than most of us who advocate early marriages are willing to come to terms with. Those who settle down too soon imperil their future and endanger their lives in more ways we can possibly fathom.
Same can also be said of those who prolong entry into the institution beyond a stipulated period.
Now, for the records, a little of theology herein comes handy. I am not aware of a specific and declarative age figure pegged by any religion for marriage. This in my opinion gave the latitude to scholars and pseudo-scholars of our faiths to trifle with the matter and hold it barely with the flippancy of an act of piousness to do the nuptials beforehand.
In a psychology today article, a study postulated that the marriage window between the ages of 25 to 33 is the lowest in divorce rates. Marriage before that window opens or after it closes, according to that study, comes with a higher risk potential for divorce and low marital fulfillment. All marriages are divorce prone. Those outside that window are just more susceptible.
Arguing from the stance of a particular religion, advocates abound who find all the odds stacked in favor of everything early in marriage. They resurrect the platitude “early marriage is virtuous marriage”. They fail to make a declarative age figure. Marrying at twenty five or six is early and in my view is virtuous.
A theme that resonates well across these religions is the disavowal of swimming deep oceans underneath the sheets before matrimony. To ensure a tighter zip before that altar is not one of those traits lavished on humanity. Refer to my assertion in the opening paragraph of this piece. Therefore the rarity of an inviolate and unsullied (in some climes though) among the unmarried.
Find below, My friends, ways skipping the age window imperils our success factor in marriage and our ability to be happy at the end of the day.
Increasing The Divorce Odds.
Sharing nearly everything from a house to food, a bed and income with a partner requires profound knowledge of humans and their intricate dispositions. A knowledge that comes from deep study and from experiences gained over time from dealing with people and from navigating through life’s mazes. This knowledge and experience comes with age.
Being young comes with an associated naivety. The periods prior to age twenty five is where everything is still in the process of growth. Factors such as strength of will and mental faculty, clarity and distinctness of goals and ambitions, level of education, earning potential, and the ability to appreciate a partner and their frailties and weaknesses are almost yet to emerge from their infancy.
When crises spring up as they will inevitably do, teens and early twenty-some-things are less likely to possess the wherewithal to manage conflicts and forge appropriate conflict resolution channels. The reason therefore, they are most likely to part ways in a divorce ditch.
In the face of widespread child marriages, all of the cogitations above stand for nothing more than a mere luxury. People are marrying weanling teenage girls and your preoccupation here is about marriages conducted in twenties. Child marriage-its health, social and emotional implications, the arguments against it and those in its favour, if any though-is a matter for another post.
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